Well this is certainly long overdue. Thank you to all who have sent kind notes and emails and who have followed our journey thusfar. I want to let you know that it has meant a lot to Kjersten and me to know that so many care.

First of all, I want to reiterate that while we no doubt sufferd a setback in July, we remain commited to adopting our daughter through Kazakhstan, and have every confidence that our agency will help this happen in the right way. We have been home now just over three weeks and while we still do not have a definite date for returning to Kazakhstan, we continue to be told that our return is likely in October.

In spite of only being in Kaz 4 nights, our trip in July wasn't all disapointing. I'll save out some of the details but attempt to give a rough outline of our abreviated journey - our dry run as it were.

As most of you know, the weeks leading up to our departure were a mad scramble of house projects, house packing, and goodbyes, as we prepared to be gone for two months. As planned, we would move to our new house on the coast of Maine upon our return and would be attempting to sell our present house while we were gone. Additionally KJ was to begin working at a new hospital after we got back with our daughter, so there were lots of major adjustments to prepare for as we readied ourselves for our flight.

We were both exhausted, and had really looked forward to getting on the plane as a time when nothing more could be done and we could just relax and focus on the adoption. It bears stating that up to that point, the excitement of the adoption had been greatly overshadowed by other elements of our life, and so as we sat on the runway in Boston we continued to point out all the 'lasts', saying things like 'the next time we touch down in the US we will have a daughter' and things of that nature.

Our flights would take us from Boston to Amsterdam, then on to Almaty. From Almaty we would have one more flight within Kazakhstan to Astana and the complete journey would take just over 30 hours. As we would have from 8am-6pm in Amsterdam, we had planned to meet up with a friend of mine who lives in Aachen Germany and was willing to take the train up to meet us in town.

Kjersten and I got into Amsterdam ahead of Katie and followed Katie's recommendation of taking several of the free ferries that leave from the backside of the train station. It was a great recommendation and a great way to see some of the waterways and town for free.

As Kjersten and I had a great deal of carry on luggage with us (electronics mostly), we decided to not try and do anything too adventurous when we joined up with Katie. The day was spent walking around some of the highlights in the city center and stopping in various places to eat, talk, and get out of the rain. It was a terrific way to spend a layover and we are grateful that Katie could join us.

Getting back on the plane we were finally on our way to Kaz. As Kaz is roughly 10-12 hours ahead of the US, planning which segments of the flight to sleep and which to remain awake can help in the time zone transition. While there is no getting around jetlag, its effects can certainly be minimized. We arrived in Almaty around 5am and proceeded to spend well over an hour getting through customs. It wasn't that our paperwork was troublesome, just that the process took a while for everyone and the lines were very long and vaguely formed.

Once clear of customs we met our first agency rep (Eugene) who handed us our incountry flight tickets and made sure we were all set with some local currency and a place to wait out our next flight that was to leave around 10am. All went well and we were pleasantly surprised with the local airline, Air Astana. The planes were new, clean, and well run.

Arriving in Astana just after noon, we met our bags (everything made it the whole way without loss, damage or delay - hooraay!) and then met our in country driver and coordinator. Going from the airport to our apartment we learned that we would be going to the orphanage that afternoon, and so would have about a half hour to shower and clean up before heading off.

Our apartment was really very nice, and we hope to have the same one when we return in the fall. It is on the 15th floor of a 16 story apartment building overlooking the river and surounding city. It is the tallest thing in the area, and as such offers wide views looking out across the newly developed city. New construction is happening all around the city and large cranes abound. The amount of space given to parks, fountains, sculpture, and other public uses is astounding. Astana is solely a post-soviet creation and as such, is surprisingly modern and architecturally interesting, if not a hint garrish.

Within that brief 30 minute window that we had to prepare for our first visit to the baby house, we managed to not only short out the electricity to the whole apartment, but we also allowed the bedroom door to blow shut after opening a number of windows. At first it was not obvious that this was not good, but we soon found that not only was the bedroom door now locked, but we had no key to open it. Furthermore, Kjersten had already put all of her luggage in the room, and so was quickly showering only to put her same travel clothes back on. As a side note, the apartment owner did not open the bedroom door until the next night so we spent the first night in our apartment on the couch.

So now we arrive at the meat of the process. We are on our way with our coordinator and driver to the Baby House. Kjersten and I are tired, wired, excited, anxious, everything you could imagine. After many months of paperwork and lots of preparation, the moment of truth was upon us. We now stood a few walls away from our daughter - or so we thought!

The next hour or so is somewhat blurry. There was crying, confusion, frustration, misunderstanding, and disbelief. What were we hearing? What did it mean? How could this happen? Essentially we were told that the birthmother of the child that the Baby House had in mind for us had come to the Baby House a day or so before and that the child was no longer available. Beyond that we were told that there were no other available children that met our criteria - female, young as possible, healthy as possible.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion about what we should have or could have done, but in the end we were advised by our agency that the best option seemed to be to return to the US and await another child, and that is what we have decided to do. This was an unexpected and certainly unusual outcome and in meeting with our agency since coming home, we have been told that in the 10+ years and 250+ adoptions they have handled in Kaz, ours was the first case in which they ever advised a family to return without a child.

This is getting long and so I will stop here for now and hope to pick up again soon. I also hope to add a few photos soon of our brief journey. Take Care.