If you’ve wondered if it were possible for lightning to strike the same place twice… it looks as if we may actually be coming home empty handed once again.
We are awaiting further guidance from our agency, but at this point it seems clear that Bobek is not in Shymkent, and may not even be Kazakh. Who knew.
No immediate plans to return home though it seems most probable within the week.
Join us on our journeys as we adopt our daughters from Kazakhstan.
Meet Aitugan
Aitugan Astana Elizabeth
Aitugan is pronounced "eye""two""gone" with mild emphasis on the first syllable. Aitugan is Kazakh for "born under a new moon" and was the name given to her by her birthmother. We have chosen to keep the name Aitugan as we love the name, the meaning and the connection that it will maintain to her country of birth. Our adoption of Aitugan was finalized the eleventh of December 2007 when we finally left the Hope Astana Baby House as a family of three.
Meet Nurai
Nurai Alia Anson
Nurai is pronounced Nur (sounds like were) and "eye". Nurai is Kazakh for "shining light of the moon". This is the name that was given to her by her birth mother. We love the sound of Nurai's name as well as the meaning so have decided to keep her birth name. Similarly to Aitugan, we like that her name will remain a tie and tribute to her birth country. Our adoption was finalized on the eighth of December 2009 and we plan to return to Maine as a family of FOUR on the sixteenth of January 2010.
About Us - Kjersten and Steve
We have been married now for eight years (as of July 2009) and in many ways the time seems to have flown by. As we discussed starting a family we had to decide whether to start with adoption or a biological child. We have both known for many years that we wanted to adopt and we finally decided that adoption made the most sense for the start of our human family. Our daughters join us and our two furry and very friendly rottweilers (Bokar and Daouda).
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73 comments:
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. OH MY GOD. I wish I could be there with you and hug you and help you through this. I know you'll be ok - eventually - but still. OH MY GOD.
I'm heartbroken for you.
I am sure there are no words I can say that can better the situation but please know you guys are in my thoughts and prayers TODAY!
Oh how heartbreaking and exasperating. I'm so so so sorry. Thinking of you and wishing you strength during this incredibly emotional time.
This breaks our hearts. Sending you a thousand hugs and prayers for strength during a terrible time. No family is more deserving of a happy ending and I just feel there will be one, and somehow this will make sense.
But TWICE? For God's sake ENOUGH.
Oh my gosh you guys. I am so incredibly sorry. No words can even express. My heart is hurting for all of you right now.
I am so sorry.
What an incredible disappointment. I am dumbfounded, how could this happen twice and why you were told to travel early? With time I am certain your child will find you. Tougy is living proof that good things come to those who wait and travel a whole lot. Still, I am praying for a miracle.
God bless you all in this difficult time. Hoping and Praying that all will reveal itself soon.
And yet, it is a special time for Tougy to be back there again--try to find a positive light in all the darkness.
Seriously. This is absolutely unbelievable. I am so very sorry. There aren't any words.
I was shocked to read the news. i can only offer you this.....
The first time it happened, look what came your way, Tougy. Maybe this will lead you to yet another gift from love...of course it will!
John and Kenny
I'm so very sorry that have had to endure this pain and agony ONCE AGAIN. I don't know what to say except that I do believe that for SOME REASON, this journey is not without some kind of lesson or leading you to your Bobek.
I care about you guys SO SO SO MUCH and I will be praying for clarity and strength as you process what has led you there.
Hugs Hugs Hugs.
with love,
Joe, Susan,Sean, and Leeza
Wow, just....WOW! I am so sorry you guys. All that travel and then there's Tougy too. How frustrating. I guess if Tougy's adoption has a lesson in it it's this: follow your heart and your instincts and you won't go wrong. Especially you guys. You and KJ have great instincts and you will know your child when you see him or her.
We are thinking of you.
Oh my goodness. So so sorry. Hugs and all good thoughts and I am hoping this can be worked out. Thinking of you.
Oh my, I am so very sorry!
I am heartbroken for you!
If there is anyway Bobek is there somewhere waiting for you, I hope that your agency will make that happen.
Much Love to all of you!
Oh God, we are truly praying for you guys. We can't imagine...well, you know the rest. Sending the strongest, most positive vibes we can.
International adoption not for the faint of heart that is for sure. So sorry that the pathway seems to be crooked once agian for you.
Sara prevented me from writing the string of expletives that erupted as I read your post - apparently such words should not appear on a public, family blog. Especially another family's blog. Hence I seem restricted to provide a private lesson in profanity to Zoe.
So it seems that you are destined to follow some grand, circuitous quest in your search for Bobek. So sorry to learn of this fate.
In the grand scheme of things, it appears that God certainly does have a wicked sense of humour - doesn't she?
Be at peace, know that your bobek is out there somewhere. And take this opportunity to be a tourist - go see the beautiful churches, museums and mountains in Almaty. It is a good time to get Tougy in touch with her Kaz roots. God Bless you always!! : )
I'm so sorry to hear this. How frustrating and how heartbraking. Especially when you have a toddler in tow. I feel for you and am sending very best wishes for the best possible outcome for you.
So sad to hear this is going on - definately not the news you wanted to write about. Thanks for sharing it with all of us on blogger-land.
Sorry for the news.
I wrote many drafts of this before settling with this one. Torrie rejected them all.
Scott
So, so sorry to hear this news... words fail but you are in our thoughts and prayers - all four of you, wherever that fourth is.
The journey to Bobek is becoming very difficult for you I fear. But it will be worth it all. My wife and I are very sorry to hear the news. We wish you well!
Oh, so sorry to hear this news! Sending positive thoughts & prayers your way. I know that Bobek will be in your arms soon!
Oh my God, I am so heartbroken for you all. And really angry that this can happen. I wish you all strength, and the belief that if it can all work out the way it's supposed to once, that part can happen again, too.
I am so sorry to read your heartbreaking post. Please know that we are all praying for a happy ending.
I am so sorry to you have to go through this yet again...
Much love and hugs,
Carolyn and Henry
Thinking of you all - so sorry to hear this!
Such love and heartbreak. Emotions are too overwhelming. Squeeze Tougy between you and
feel the strength of your beautiful family.
I love you all so much.
The hardest lesson, that it seems we must learn all the time, is that life simply isn't fair. Wishing you peace in your hearts and warm thoughts that Bobek will find you.
Steve, KJ and Tougs -
Across the other comments there is nothing new I can offer by way of empathy/sympathy. This undoubtedly strikes me as unjust, unfair, unlikely and about the most hurtful outcome I can imagine for a wonderful family that is looking to lavish love and embrace a wonderful child into the family.
I feel sick, saddened and deep disappointment in the delay and though I can point to Tougy as evidence of great outcomes from even lousy circumstances - it does not make me wish lousy circumstances on you. How about some great outcomes fom great circumstances?
From here - we love you, we love KJ, we love Tougy and we are ready to love Bobek. I am going to continue to hope tha there is some breakthrough and that the emptiness will soon be replaced by a little one to fill your lives...it would be especially wonderful if it could happen while you are still there.
Please connect with us privately if you can think of anything we can help with from our end.
We love you all.
Jamie, Amy, Annie, Chris, Katy, and Lauren
Too emotional to be coherent. Such heartbreak again.
SQUEEZE Tougy between you and feel the love of your beautiful family. I love you all and know your strengths will overcome your extreme disappointment and emotional exhaustion.
Steve and KJ,
We are all so sad to hear your news. It's so disappointing. Please let us know if we can help out on this end with anything at all.
International adoption is very complicated. In amongst the beautiful outpouring of sympathy for you (which I share, of course)I also want to say that it's not really about you in particular - it's something really really complex. I have faith that you will find your path and will travel along it with grace.
I am so sorry to hear your bad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Abby
There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said, but know that another heart is going out to you.
Shannon
Oh dear...I am so sorry for you. Hold eachother tightly--
Quaintance
I know you get the bigger picture in this complicated morass of life. So I will simply say the one thing that was always appropriate in the downs of our seven year journey to meet Miss Maddie. (Well the only reponse that can be shared in public). "It sucks." Big time.
Dear Kjersten, Steve and Aitugan. From far Belgium, we send you our blessings. Know that this is only one step away from Bobek. Kaz' ways are often unpredictable. When we arrived in Astana, they told us there was no girl adoptable, and see, we got our Anna-Lina ! So, keep faith and things will turn out right.
If this message appears on your blog (after several other trials, it will be a sign, let's hope for that !
Please know we are thinking about you.
Bob, Diana & Anton
I am speechless! Praying and thinking about you all.
Oh my gosh. We can't believe it, as we're sure you can't either. We're praying many prayers for you right now. Love you guys.
Brad, Corrine and Drew
So, so sorry. My prayers as with you all.
Words fail me.
In all this, I can't imagine how you explain it all to a nearly three year old. No small task, that.
I am so disappointed for you all to have had this experience yet again. At times like this it often seems the only comfort we can draw from it all is the hope and belief that everything happens for a reason. In any event, I hope the reason is revealed to you all as soon as possible.
Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.
Pam and Nicholas
I've been thinking about your journey to Shymkent and thought I'd check in. I can't even believe my eyes, although after having gone through our fair share of hurdles in Kaz - I guess I can. You've been there before and I'm sure it doesn't feel any better the second time. I know this must be heartbreaking and I hope that there's a silver lining. I'm anxiously awaiting some good news on your next post. Hope Tougy's doing well and keeping smiles on your faces despite the tough situation.
Melanie (Kaz Kid Mom)
I'm so sorry to hear this news. Wishing a miracle for you and hoping that you find strength during this difficult time.
Wow! I am shocked and so very sad for you to have this expereicne again. I hope that there is some way that your agency can help you change to another region NOW while you are there on this trip. So sorry. Keep us posted.
Praying for your family that you all find the strength you will need this week. Your path to grow your family may have changed but I pray Bobek will find his way home to you all soon.
Kathy
I'm not believing this you guys. I know you will weather this together with grace, but what a bummer. Your little person will find his/her way to you, just as Aitugan did. This too, shall pass! xoxo, Hauser
Oh no. My heart absolutely sunk when I read this. Every day I excitedly came to your blog, waiting for the good news. God's blessings with you guys as you come home empty handed yet again. I too have come home empty handed (albeit a domestic adoption) and there is no feeling more that leaves you feeling more hollow. Hold Aitugan tightly and never let go.
Dear KJ, Steve & Tougy-
Our hearts are breaking for you - so not right that this is happening again! Will say prayers. Know that there is a lot of love and support being sent to you.
Like everybody has said before me, I'm so sad to hear your devastating news. This should not be. Praying for you as you work through this.
Please know that we are thinking of you guys. We are so sorry to hear this news.
Stewart, Ashlee and Owen
Our hearts ache. We love you. All will be well. mormor & morfar
My heart goes out to you guys...I just cannot believe this is happening.
Kerrie
I am nearly speechless. I just talked with Nona, and heard the devastating news. I cannot imagine the range of emotions you are experiencing right now. Hope you will take consolation from all the support coming your way from the States.
UGH! I can't believe it! How unbelievable. My fingers are crossed that something works out. What you've already been through just to get there "in time" and now this....
Perhaps, if there is any way to be hopeful, a reminder of what you went through to get Tougy might be a glimmer of possibilities. I'm sure you're not thinking that now but I am sending positive thoughts your way in that you WILL return with your little Bobek...some how....some way!
xo
Kelly
My heart goes out to you guys...I just cannot believe this is happening.
Kerrie
I have lots of hope and I'm sending you extra...
Praying that everything works out for you all.
Alli
We hope there will be a solution very soon....Unbelievable that it happens to you twice!
Big hug from Belgium...
Winde, Toon, Miel and Roos
Hang on guys! too early to get upset, everything might change tomorrow. have hope.
Layla.
I'm so sorry you have had so many roadblocks. Adopting from Kazakhstan is certainly not for the faint of heart! Keep the faith and I know you will find your Bobek...
So sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you.
We are really sorry you are going through this. It is hard to comprehend how it can happen again. I am sure the outcome will be a good one when you eventually find Tougy's brother or sister, whether now or later. Stay strong. We love you guys.
xo Tanda & Micah
So sorry to hear that news. I do believe that this is bringing you to the child that is yours. This same path a few years ago brought you to the wonderful child you have now. It will happen again I am sure. Keep the faith.
I'm so sorry to hear about your frustrating experience over there. I'm absolutely certain, though, that you'll find your Bobek and all will be well in the end. Our thoughts and prayers are with you going through this and with those who are facilitating your eventual meeting. Lots of love to you all.
Are you freaking kidding me??????????????????????????????????????????? Rob, Chris and I are here right now and just gaping at this. Totally speechless and I just can't believe it. I am thinking of you guys- waiting for more news- and in the meantime sending hugs and love from afar. We are with you in spirit, my dear friends. Love, us...
Oh wow. Reading through other comments and it's all been said. I'm thinking of you.
Ugh!! I cannot believe things have not changed in the past years. I can merely imagine what you are going through, ours hearts go out to you. Stay strong.
Oh my goodness. I am fresh off the plane from Semey and catching up. How terribly frustrating and confusing this must have been for you. I will continue reading how this all unfolded, because I do see a picture of another VERY beautiful Kazakh princess. Thank you for following my journey. I am so excited to now be able to follow yours too.
So looking forward to seeing you when you get back.
Andrea
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